Lance Armstrong, The poor, and Oil Depletion

Once again the idea of  "smacking" the poor raises it's ugly head.  See, those who are less fortunate, those who lost their jobs and those who are just down on their luck receive cash payments and food stamps and WIC in order to merely keep them alive.  The operative words here are "keep them alive".  Someone has this great plan of drug testing those who receive government "handouts" prior to providing them with the necessary funds to merely subsist.  Not, live like kings, not reap huge windfall tax relief, not stock market wealth up the proverbial you know what, merely to subsist.  We all know that almost all of those people are druggies anyway using the money Uncle Sam gives them to buy heroin or crack or meth or weed.

Well, fair is fair, right?  We should have a fair and just society so here is a modest proposal.  Anyone who receives a government subsidy of any sort should be drug tested:

1, those who receive oil depletion allowances should be drug tested.  Most of the owners and CEOs probably use cocaine regularly.  We all have seen movies about it.
2, those who receive crop subsidies or payments to allow fields to lie fallow or water subsidies would be drug tested.  We all know that corporate farms grow weed on their farms to "subsidize" their income.
3, All those who receive capital gains reductions or investment credits should be tested.  They probably use illegal performance enhancement drugs that make them angry and unable to listen.
4, GM, Chrysler, and all the banks and investment firms that received handouts from the government should be drug tested.  Lord knows  their actions leading up to the economy falling apart clearly indicates drug use.  Should check those beady little eyes.
5, All the veterans who receive service related disability pensions should be tested.  After all, we all know that service people drink to excess and use those funny little things they pick up in Afghanistan and Vietnam and other places around the world.
6, then let's drug test all those on social security since they buy drugs of all kinds with their medicare and medicaid payments. 

Got everyone covered?  Hope so.  Think of the money the government will save.  Not only all the cash but we can do away with health and Human Services, Internal Revenue, Social security, Veterans Affairs, EPA, Natural Resources.  Oh, and while we are at it let's drug test EVERYONE in government -- they all receive cash handouts from the feds.  I have one better idea-- Let's not just start with congress but let's start with the Republicans in Congress who are so eager to drug test the poor and downtrodden.  Anyone who takes money from the government and then denies it to everyone else clearly is on some kind of drug!